Monday, November 8, 2010

Where am I and how did I get here?

Do you ever wake up and just find yourself completely flabbergasted and shocked at your life and wonder how the hell it got that way?

There is a weight in the pit of my stomach that is wondering what is the meaning of everything and how is understanding the electron configuration of bromine going to reveal it to me. Alas, I am just sleep deprived and unmotivated, but really.

My brilliantly talented friend, Hayley Neff recently performed her senior recital and for the closing sang this fantastically depressing Hoiby set. My favorite, "Goodbye, Goodbye World" has the most beautiful and gut wrenching verse:

‎"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it, every, every minute?"

I feel like that is me. Do we ever realize life? How do you learn to live it to the fullest?
At the moment I'm having what I call an Oedipus Rex moment. I want to gauge my eyes out with and just die because I just found out the woman I've been sleeping with and bore children with is actually my mother. But instead of a kind, I'm a student, instead of sleeping with my mother I'm cheating on my education with the seductive and sultry mister procrastination and instead of gauging out my eyes I'm simply going to fail my Chemistry exam tomorrow.

Please go on the Huffington Post website and read the newest Nora Ephron blog. It is painfully accurate and beautiful.